Starting All Over.

Let’s see, where do I begin? Back in May I started seeing this guy named Jerome. He seemed like a nice guy to “get to know”. We did meet on-line, we dated and did other things that grown people do. But the 1st time that we were intimate with each other we created a baby.

Things got heated at his place and protection just did not happen. When you are in the heat of the moment and a man is doing things to you that feel good, he leaves you so weak that he then can do the “sneak it in raw” on you. And that is just what happened to me. Once you get started you might as well finish, didn’t think that he would plant his seed inside me though. That night we had sex all night and all of Sunday morning.

He held me while we slept, kissed me every time that he was inside of me,   it felt good being next to someone after being celibate AGAIN for a while. We kept on seeing each other when we could cause he worked a lot and was always tired~ I guess when you’re 44 you don’t have all the energy you used to have when you were in your 30’s. But we texted, email, and called each other and spent time with one another. Weeks later I started noticing that I was always tired~ then I begin to notice that when I would go to sleep that it would be a deep drowsy sleep. I thought that it was all due to stress cause I was preparing for my son’s graduation at the time and that did take a lot out of me.

But after all the Graduation stuff was over I really started noticing that my body was going through changes. I brought it to his attention and told him that I am not ready for another baby. He said that the feeling was mutual. So I let him know that I would go and have a pregnancy test done by my doctor. Well needless to say I am pregnant~ I called Jerome crying and I told him the results and he said that I should stop crying, and that I could have an abortion.

At that moment those words left his lips I was livid. I told him that I do not believe in abortions and that I would not do that. After that I told him, I know that you and I are not together and NOW I don’t want to be with you. I just want you to take care of your responsibility. After I told him that we argued, I cried and he was just so cold towards me.

While he was talking it seemed like everything was just all a blur and that is when I decided that I will raise this baby on my own and he will PAY! So now I am 4 months pregnant, I don’t call him and he does not call me. What he does not know is that I have all the information that I need on him in order to file child support including his SSI#. Emotionally I went through a lot in my first trimester but now that I am in my second trimester I am doing a whole hell of a lot better. I know that I played a part in this happening BUT I just knew that he would be a man and at least take care of his baby that I am carrying.

I hate having to put these Child Support people in his life but it has to be done. I did not make this baby by myself….